Wajahnya berlumuran keringat dingin. Ia seperti telah terjatuh di atas galaksi Black Eye dan terjatuh di jurang Palung Mariana yang kedalamannya mencapai 35.798 kaki.
Mimpi itu benar-benar membuat kesadarannya sempat goyah. Mana sebenarnya yang nyata; dunia mimpikah atau dunia yang biasa kita sebut sebagai dunia nyata. Siapa yang bisa menjamin bahwa dunia nyata adalah dunia sebenarnya. Tidak ada. Bahkan ketika bermimpi pun kita tidak pernah sadar kalau manusia berada di dunia mimpi. Mungkin saja itu dunia realitas yang tidak akan pernah manusia mau mengakuinya.
Suhu tubuhnya naik. Mulut dan kerongkongannya cengkar kekurangan cairan. Suaranya berkecai. Ia tak tahan ingin membanjiri kerongkongannya dengan air. Lalu, diteguknya secerek air tanpa menyisakan setetespun.
“Sial. Makhluk laknat itu mau cari gara-gara rupanya,” ucapnya dengan nada lirih namun geram.
Apa benar Tuhan punya rahasia? Selama menjadi agamawan, ia hanya tahu sifat wajib-Nya. Kalaupun benar, Tuhan kan emang berdiri sendiri. Individualis. Tunggal. Tak heran kalau main rahasia-rahasiaan dengan makhluknya. Enggak terbuka.
“Lantas, fenomena alam itu sebenarnya apa? Owh, mungkin itu kode Tuhan, kan individualis tak pernah ngomongin diri sendiri secara to the point ke khalayak umum, mesti berhati-hati. Kalau ngomong langsung bisa gawat, entar manusia enggak bisa dapat positif dan negatif dari suatu fenomena alam. Bisa bisa jadi bencana, ” pikir liarnya.
Mimpi itu membuatnya menjadi perenung ulung sejak saat itu. Ia kacau. Segala sesuatu yang ia perbuat selalu terngiang ucapan si Augusto Boulevar terkutuk. Sudah dua minggu ia belum bermimpi lagi bertemu dengannya.
“Ini tidak bisa dibiarin. Malam ini, aku harus ketemu makhluk itu.”
Ia melirik kukunya sudah panjang. Kedua jari tengahnya terdapat semacam bercak putih bening seolah berkilau. Benda itu agak ganjil, seperti ada tapi sebenarnya tidak ada dan akan selalu ada walaupun kadang ada dan tidak ada.
Baru kali ini ia memerhatikan sesuatu yang seharusnya tidak perlu dianggap hal serius. Segala sesuatu yang dianggap hal biasa saja dilahapnya oleh pikirannya. Entah apa yang membuatnya beda waktu itu.
“kayaknya aku potong ini kuku, siapa tahu hal itu terjadi lagi,” harapnya.
Malam ini sebelum tidur, ia berencana memanggil nama Tuhan dengan sebutan Maha Tahu, walaupun sebenarnya ia enggan. Tapi tidak ada pilihan lain, kabar burung mengatakan bahwa ritual seperti itulah yang ditakutkan oleh si Boulevar.
(Baca: Pembangkang III)
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