“Aku ingin bebas, aku ingin menang, aku ingin
menguasai kepala dan hatiku”.
Bebas dari segala hal yang selalu menghadang dengan
tiba-tiba, menang dari segala sisi yang selalu ditunggu-tunggu, sebab orang
yang menang akan selalu dikagumi bukan digunjing. ‘jadilah pemenang yang sudah
melalui proses dengan begitu nyaman’.
Dan aku juga ingin selalu menguasai kepala dan hatiku
sesuai keinginan hatiku berkata bukan nafsuku yang berkata.
Aku
yang kemarin masih meminta-minta biarkan itu sebagai kenangan saja, jangan
biarkan itu menular ke seluruh organ tubuh orang lain, apalagi aku amalkan demi
mencari citra diri yang ‘baik’. Tangan di bawah-mu masih belum bisa sepenuhnya
kau gunakan dengan sebaik mungkin, artinya apa yang sudah kau punya masih saja
kau harapkan lagi. Cukup bersyukur saja dengan apa yang sudah kau dapatkan,
bukan malah kecukupanmu itu membutamu semakin serakah dengan kekuranganmu
sendiri dan akhirnya tangan di bawah-mu menjadi sebuah kebiasaan yang sudah
tidak logis lagi.
Aku mempunyai
sedikit cerita, jadi aku mempunyai teman yang pada saat itu, memang dia anaknya
orang yang ‘punya’ bisa dibilang anak orang kaya. Sifat yang lemah lembut menjadikannya
dia mempunya perasaaan yang mudah mengasih, dan bisa dibilang mudah bersedih,
apabila mempunyai teman yang lagi kesusahan. Sebut saja namanya Doni anak dari
seorang juragan sapi dan kambing, yang setiap bulannya pasti dari penjualan
kambing menguntungkan banyak uang. Jadi, Doni sebagai anaknya Cuma bisa bersyukur.
Sifat jiwa mudah bersyedekah sudah ditanamkan ayahnya sejak dini. Tidak heran
lagi kalau si Doni sering memberikan sedikit bantuan kepada temannya yang lagi
membutuhkan, sampai-sampai dia tidak pernah memfikirkan kerja ayahnya itu
seperti apa? Yang dia pikirakan hanyalah setiap hari dikasih uang saku,
berangkat membawa 50.000 pulang sudah lenyap ditelan teman-temannya sendiri.
Kenyaatannya dari cerita tersebut kita sebenarnya
sudah faham, mana orang yang benar-benar ingin bersedekah dari jerih payanya
sendiri dan mana yang dari pemberian Orang Tua. Memang semuanya baik dan tidak
ada yang perku disalahkan. Memang semuanya akan mendapatkan pahalanya kelak di
akhirat. Tapi, yang perlu diketahui lebih dalam lagi, kita yang sebagai orang
penerima rezeki tersebut, juga harus lebih faham lagi, harus lebih detail lagi
dari mana rezeki itu tersebut di dapatkan. Bukan Cuma menerima saja dengan keikhlasan
saja, melainkan melihat asal usulnya. Bukan bermaksud berhusnudzon, tapi
belajar berperilaku sadar akan ‘rezeki itu sudah ada yang mengaturnya, dan
jangan selalu mengharapkan apa yang tidak pernah kita pikirkan’.
Mari kita semua belajar lagi, mengenai kedaiman ‘saling
memberi’ bukan saling mencaci. Kita pernah memberi tapi dari pemberian itu ,
terkadang kita malah dicaci-maki. Memang susah mencoba menjadi orang yang ingin
belajar memberi. Tapi jangan terlalu khawatir dengan semua itu. Teruslah melawan
egomu untuk mencapai keperbedaanmu dengan orang lain.
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