Dari tempat tukang sayur pembicaraannya dimulai dari naiknya BPJS, ROKOK dan QUOTA. Sampai tukang sayurnya berbicara, “Bu, kalau harga rokok sehari 20 di kali sebulan berapa ? 600”, jawab pedagang sayur. Padahal dia sendiri yang bertanya, tapi tampaknya si bapak jago matematikanya, sampe ngitung belanjaan aja cepet amat.
Yaa segitu, sahut si Ibu. Pak De, ngambil pisang yaa, bayarnya ntar, iya, yang banyak aja sekalian, sambung tukang sayur sama pembeli yang berbeda. Memang saya ga ngerokok, dulu susah amat mau berhenti, lanjut pedagang sayur. Itu, suami saya mau berhenti aja susah, lanjut si ibu, yaudah beli rokoknya malah dikurangi, sambil dengan jelas menceritakan percakapannya dengan suaminya.
Setelah selesai belanja, kemudian datang lagi salah satu ibu-ibu sambil berkata, “Bu, demen amat masak,” kata salah satu pembeli. “Iya, saya suka banget masak, apalagi si Ary demen makan.” Sebagai pemuda yang dikelilingi ibu-ibu dengan pembicaraan soal tetek bengek rumah tangga, saya hanya senyam-senyum sambil milih-milih sayuran yang mau dibeli.
Kemudian yaudah ini aja dulu (sambil telunjuknya mengarah ke saya). Udah ini aja ? Sambung pedagang sayur. Udah pak, jawab saya. Eehh cabe+bawang+tomat deh, berapa ? Tanya tukang sayur, 5 ribu pak ? Nada rendah, sedikit malu sihh, yaa gpp, namanya beli, tapi sedikit, ucap tukang sayur yang sambil masukin cabe, bawang, dan tomat kedalam plastik. Yaudah tambah cabenya dua ribu pak, ucap saya. Nampaknya selain matematika jago, marketingnya tukang sayur ini jago juga, sambil saya mengulang kata “tapi sedikit”.
Sesampainya di dapur setelah ceker digoreng, setelah cabe, bawang dan tomat diulek, setelah terong di goreng, semua dicampur aduk, tambah terasi yang rasanya aneh, sahut teman yang satu. Padahal dia lagi ngunyah.
Kemaren gua makan bakso sampe ga abis itu bakso super, jadi inget mantan, sahut saya. Masa’ sih inget mantan ? Lha, itu baksonya ga abis, kan yang ngabisin gua, sampe sekrang DM, berteman di FB. Padahal no WA, FB, IG dia yang ganti sendiri. Kalau jadi nikah gua nyumbang 200 laah, ucap teman. Gua 1 juta. Masa’ ke teman 200, sahut salah satu teman disampingnya. Gua mah nyari cewe kalau terlalu kurus ga suka, (kok malah ke fisik ya, sahut gua dalam hati, tapi.. gtu deh) gemuk juga nggak, sedanglah, S1, ucap teman.
Gua mah nyari orang Sunda, ga ribet, kalau di Sumatera kan mahal sampai 70 juta. Itu di Makassar juga sama, Sulawesi ratusan, sahut saya. Ga perlu S1, yang penting intelektual, belum tentu S1 itu intelektual, sahut teman yang satunya. Yang bisa ngaji, kan ntar bisa ngajarin anak-anak. Itu teman gua dapet istri Hafizoh, padahal dia berandal. Pas ditanya sama mertuanya, kamu sering shalat ? Kadang-kadang pak, jawab si berandal. Terus kalau istri kamu shalat, kamu sholat ga ? Yaa sholat pak, masa istri saya shalat, saya ngga, kan imam keluarga.
Haha, liat teman pada nikah, jadi pengen. Yaa gua mah 27 lah minimal, jangan tanggung-tanggung pulang dari Jakarta bawa istri. Jangan cepat-cepat punya anak juga, meski setiap anak ada rezekinya, timpal teman yang lumayan jauh ngerantau ke Jakarta dari Jambi. Minimal 30 lah gua nikah. Tapi beda loh yang udah nikah terus punya anak. Mikirnya masa depan. Beda kerja juga, semangat. Presiden aja punya istri, punya anak. Kalau ga punya istri ntar melayang-layang. Oohh Prabowo, bang ? Sahut teman sambil haha-hihi,
Itu kasian Sandi ya, di campakkan partainya. Wakil presiden ga. Wakil gubernur juga nggak, ucap teman. Iya udah abis asetnya, tapi berani dia yaa, sahut saya. Padahal kalau di Sumatera masa bodo aja, kalau ada pemilihan presiden, tau doang. Beda dengan di Jawa Barat, dan Jawa-Jawa sekitarnya. Lha itu, kan ada cebong-kampret bang ? Tanya saya. Ga ada di Sumatera, yang penting bisa makan, terpenuhi kebutuhan sehari-hari.
Makanya sedikit pintar dikampung agak malu, apalagi bahas politik, sahut teman. Makanya tadi malam di tahlilannya Gus Sholah bang Sandi kan bilang, “sekarang udah ga ada cebong-kampret, adanya kecepret,” sambil semua yang hadir tertawa.
Tapi dulu itu kekuatan militer kuat banget, ke pelosok-pelosok ada sampe PKI bikin kelompok 5. Makanya zaman Gus Dur, polisi militer dipisahkan, itu pas Gus Dur mau bubarin DPR dan MPR! Owh iya, yang kata Gus Dur wakil rakyat kayak taman kanak-kanak itu yaa, sambung saya. Kalau sekarang malah polisi yang kuat, sampe pengeluaran belanja banyakkan polisi ketimbang militer, sahut teman. Iya kalau dulu kan Dwi Fungsi militer, sekarang Dwi Fungsi polisi, sahut saya.
Makanya Gus Dur pernah bilang, polisi yang jujur cuma ada tiga. Satu polisi tidur. Kedua polisi patung. Ketiga lagi lupa, ucap saya. Sekarang Jokowi keliatan banget komprominya, Prabowo dapet kursi, ketua DPR, kalau dulu Gus Dur mana mau kompromi. Makanya kata Mbak Yenny bisa aja untuk mempertahankan kursi presidennya Gus Dur dulu. Sebenarnya tinggal kerjasama/kompromi aja, tapi bukan itu tujuan Gus Dur.
Terus siapa yang bisa disalahkan? Tanya teman. Itu Wiranto, sahutnya. Dia dulu kan dekat banget sama semua presiden. Yaa liat aja sekarang jadi apa dia. Kekuatan militer itu masih sampai sekarang. Tapi presiden kita yang militer siapa aja sih? Soeharto, SBY, Soekarno, bukan soekarno sipil. Tapi dulu itu rata-rata tokoh yang memberontak baca ilmu-ilmu kiri yaa, sahut saya. Siapa ? Tanyanya. Itu contohnya PKI. PKI itu kan maen Ideologi mereka. Soeharto juga dekat ke Rusia, dll.
Tapi Indonesia sekarang dekat ke mana ya? Yaa zaman SBY dengan Amerika. Pas Obama jadi presiden, itu pas pidato di Arab kan dia ngomong. Saya udah ga asing lagi dengan orang Islam, pulang kampung, katanya kalau ke Indonesia, sahut teman. Secara tidak langsung kan media dunia, kalau Obama ke Indonesia semua memberitakan.
Tapi gua heran kenapa Obama bawa-bawa nama Indonesia. Jangan-jangan jual nama doang, sahut saya. Itu kan media asing suka nelusurin jejak-jejak masa kecil Obama yang sekolahnya di Menteng. Tapi yaa zaman sekarang Indonesia lebih dekat ke Cina, sebenarnya ga berani tuh Amerika perang. Iran kan belakangnya Rusia. Amerika sekutunya Jerman. Inggris ga tau tuh kalau Itali.
Sampai makan udah selesai, kok malah ke Geopolitik gini ya pembahasan makannya, sahut dalam hati. Nampaknya pemberitaan media dimulai dari naiknya BPJS, rokok, perangnya Iran-Amerika, penyakit di Cina, mempengaruhi cara berpikir, bertindak serta kesadaran akan suatu hal yang emang benar-benar penting atau tidak, dampaknya terasa dalam kehidupan keluarga.
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